Bob's Presidential Speech

An Introduction

I was given an assignment to write a speech in English class as per the following topic “Imagine you are in prison and are now standing for the post of ‘President’ of the prisoner’s union” Hence I wrote a persuasive speech to convince fellow prisoners to vote for my character!

Hope you enjoy it!

Siddharth Menon

The Speech

Hey Everybody! My name is Bob and I have decided to stand for the post of President of the prisoner’s union!
Let me begin by saying, I love this place! I have made this place my home and hence feel a deep sense of belonging to my barred sweet home. The connections I have made are so totally legit! Excuse my irony!
Let me tell you a bit about myself. I was brought here after an altercation with an arrogant and delusional ice-cream salesman. He was a lousy, thumb sucking scumbag and I do not regret what went down and do you know why? Because it brought me here!
Ah Prison! A place filled with so many like-minded people. A place that makes me proud of who I am and a place that lets me be me.
Today, I stand before you with the intention to make this place an even better one for most of us who are going to stay here forever. And since forever is a long time, why not endure it under the brilliant leadership of a man who feels so strongly for the establishment? I knew you would agree!
Let me move onto my agenda as President of the Prisoner’s union. I promise to take suggestions from the inmates of this blessed prison by way of a cute little orange suggestion box or you can always find me in cell number 477! I promise to implement them no matter how immoral and destructive they may be provided the majority has asked for it! I am after all a man of the people! I shall endeavor to be an unbiased judge in any brawl or argument between two or more parties. Speaking of parties, I shall urge prison authorities to provide us with theme parties at least once a month. I am so sure all of you are dying for a chance to go to a retro, Hawaiian or a James bond themed party and I shall make that happen!
Further, I shall provide my excellent tutorial skills free of cost to anyone who wishes to master the skill of murder using basic cutlery! After all I took down a gargantuan ice-cream salesman with only a spoon and a lot of patience! These skills could also help you, should you even choose to commit the undesirable act of a prison break. Though I personally feel that everything you could ever want can be found within the hallowed walls of our dear penitentiary.
The Jail is an excellent teacher of basic survival and social skills. I promise to uphold the beautiful values taught to us by our humble home and shall continue its legacy as President.

I would like to conclude by saying that I want to represent you! Yes you, from petty thieves, fraudsters to mass murderers! I want to represent your views and thoughts! I want to help you achiever whatever it is that you want! We are grown adults and nobody else can deprive us of anything! Well perhaps freedom. But when did freedom become so important anyways?
So vote for Bob! Vote for Values! Vote for Change!
Prisoners forever!

Siddharth Menon ,
Grade11